Joyful Noise

04 Jan 2015 Leave a comment

by Laura in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

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That’s Kevin Spacey, above, singing “Piano Man” with Billy Joel at a recent celebration of Joel’s music. Kevin said it was “one of the highlights of my life!” He also revealed that he learned to play the harmonica for Billy Joel and this tune.

Don’t you love the “highlights?” Love and magic and opportunity collide and there you are, LIVING in blessed moments of joy! The highlights of our lives may be different, but they are each wonderful gifts.

I’ve been revisited my highlights of 2014, recently. There are simple moments of awareness and grand expressions of ecstasy and I’m grateful for every one! It’s with delightful anticipation that I awaken each day to the possibilities of 2015.

Happy New Year! And thank you for reading me!

Wind

02 Nov 2014 4 Comments

by Laura in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

There’s a “Wind Advisory,” here in western Massachusetts. It’s been howling all night and today’s gusts have climbed to 45MPH. A pack of teenagers have come down to the river; I hear them giggling and I’m drawn to the window. They’re tottering around the water’s edge, holding hands, like crackin’ the whip. Their hair and clothes spin violently around them, as they dance with nimble feet over the stone-lined path. The wind re-drapes their forms every few seconds, reminding me of the gesture drawings I rendered during my days as an art student. Youth and Mother Nature collide and a simple pleasure is born, right before my eyes! Gratitude surges and a smile spreads across my face. It’s a blessed moment, made sweeter by its presence during this time of recovery, this time of going inward to tame old demons and learn new lessons. The kids are out of sight now, but the waves and wind’s whistle remain to keep me company.

WIND

Road Trip!

24 Aug 2014 Leave a comment

by Laura in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

A dark cloud of sadness can descend when we least expect it or it can envelope us during a time of suffering that traditionally produces a heavy heart. Although it is often a joyous revelation or a sunny spark of gratitude that makes us seekers, foul weather is often the ideal time to start a spiritual journey. The dark secrets and whispered utterings of a bruised soul are more readily seen, explored and understood during these times. Ancient and frightening memories hidden in the corners and crags of the brain are brought into the light, where they’re less powerful and can be challenged by a brave spirit. Like so many things that would be of service to our deep and often fragile selves, if we wait for optimal conditions before staring a spiritual journey we may miss a golden opportunity for growth. Or, even worse, we might never step on the path that can lead us to healing and happiness and the love we all deserve to find for ourselves, within ourselves. If the spirit nudges you, take a chance! Put on you galoshes or your sunscreen, pick a bunch of flowers or squish through the muddy places you discover. It’s never a bad time for an inner road trip!

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Present

10 Aug 2014 Leave a comment

by Laura in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I will practice being present in each moment.

I will allow myself audacious dreams for the future!

I will no longer be intimidated by those who judge my personal experiences and emotions.

I will say “Thank You” each morning and evening, until the gratitude inside me floats around my aura like fireflies on a warm night or dew glistening in the morning light!

I Love You!

06 May 2014 3 Comments

by Laura in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , ,

I love you!

It’s become clear to me that these three words were meant to be spoken regularly to those you care for, rather than being saved for special occasions, like the “good” china. Love may be as precious as shimmering cut crystal, but it shouldn’t be hidden out-of-site or protected from clumsy hands. Real love should be given with abandon and the trust that the receiver will hold it dear. And if not? Love is never squandered. If it’s met with resistance or taken advantage of, be glad that you’ve had the courage to express your heart’s greatest joy. And have faith! For there will be many times when your love will be received with gratitude. Gratitude that matches your own, every time you have the opportunity to say, “I love you!” For that is the true purpose of love. Love was made to be given away, released into the space between you and another and into the infinite space of our magnificent universe. Indeed, love makes the world go ’round! And, just in case you care, like all good things, love will be returned to you. 

Dedicated, with love always, to Shari Lynn Carney.

Word for Today – Gratitude

13 Apr 2014 Leave a comment

by Laura in Word for Today Tags: , ,

GRATEFUL – noun

the quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful.

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There are many reasons why this image illustrates “gratitude” for me. Perhaps there are other words that spring to mind when you look at this photograph. Or maybe you would use a different image to depict what “grateful” means to you.

“Word for Today” uses a picture to illustrate a definition according to my personal aesthetics and sensibilities. I hope it also gives you something to ponder. Enjoy! And please comment, if you feel moved to do so.

Have We Met?

04 Apr 2014 4 Comments

by Laura in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Is it possible to say “Thank You!” and “You’re Welcome!” with just one sentence? Is it plausible for someone to give and receive in the same moment? Is it realistic to say you know someone, if you haven’t ever met? These questions and their answers (Yes! Yes! Yes!) prompted me to ponder being a reader, a writer and, most recently, a blogger.

If I had to squeeze all of my feelings about blogging into just one word, it would be gratitude. I am deeply grateful to “meet” you here in the WordPress community. Not just to “meet you,” as in “Hello, my name is Laura,” but to meet you during the invisible action that is communication in it’s purest form. It’s when I meet someone heart-to-heart, soul-to-soul in the wonderful, safe place trust has built, where I feel free to share the deepest parts of myself, knowing I’ll be received with kindness, free from judgement.

In these precious moments, I often discover that not only are my thoughts and experiences understood, but they are shared. To feel understood is one of the most precious gifts I ever receive; maybe my gratitude springs from our shared need to feel we “belong.” Whatever the reason, nothing comforts and inspires me more than knowing I’m not alone. It gives me the courage to move forward every day, no matter what challenge I may be facing. It fuels my intention to be of service to others, no matter how small or grand the gesture. It makes me love.

This life is filled with give and take, ups and downs, challenge and triumph. I have memories of carefree, childhood discoveries, tales of travel and adventures from my “glory days” and those joyous, life-changing events, like the birth of my beloved daughter. I’ve enjoyed the many simple pleasures we’re all blessed with from one year to the next. I also remember days when loss and grief seemed insurmountable, when depression stole my will and spirit and my recent years of illness, when I wondered if I’d ever be my “old self” again. Then came a cancer diagnosis and the frightening thought that I wouldn’t live another year. Luckily for me, that fear was short-lived; my cancer was caught in Stage One and I responded beautifully to my treatment protocol.

When faced with my own extinction, it wasn’t long before my priorities became crystal clear. I had plenty of time to reflect on my life story and to decide how I want to spend the next chapters. Plotting my intentions was quite simple; I said to myself, “I’ve always wanted to ____ ” and filled in the blank, over and over. I realized I wanted to write “in public” and decided a blog was the perfect place to do it. So, you are now part of my new chapter, where I share my stories and listen to yours as my heart overflows with gratitude. So, Thank you…You’re Welcome…It’s wonderful to meet you!

Dedicated to Anna Quindlen
For Living Out Loud and for helping me realize I have something to say.

I Have Survived!

05 Mar 2014 2 Comments

by Laura in My Journey Through Cancer Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Yesterday, my oncologist said, “You’re much too healthy to be hanging around doctors’ offices. See you in three months.” I shook his hand, hard, as our smiling eyes met. Then he turned and walked out of the office and into the rest of his day.

I pulled on my coat and began walking out of the office, twirling a scarf around my neck as I wove through the maze of rooms. The lab, the infusion room, the glass-walled reception area, all so familiar and now fading into the background. I flung the door open and the bright sun and freezing air stunned me. I jumped into my car and after slamming the door, I let out a joyous yelp. Within a few minutes the Grateful Dead tune, “Touch of Gray” began to play on the radio. I turned it way up, grinning ear-to-ear and sang all the way home, as happy tears bounced off the steering wheel. Sure, people looked at me when a red light stopped us, but I didn’t care. (My bumper sticker reads, “Driver Singing. Use Caution.”)

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! To all my dear friends and family, thank you! To my doctors, nurses, care-givers and EMT’s, thank you! To each and every one of you who – without even knowing – lifted me up, thank you! To God, this magical universe and the warrior that revealed herself within me, thank you! To my beloved angels up above who hovered close and answered my prayers, thank you! I need words bigger than “Thank You,” but for now they’re all I’ve got.

There’s so much I want to say, but I’ve got the rest of my lifetime to do so. So for now, I’ll celebrate and toast my fellow survivors. I’m also praying for the cancer patients who are fighting back right now, with all the bravery and strength they can muster. And I’m remembering those who’ve lost the battle, because all the medicine, treatments, love and fighting spirit weren’t enough. I will say this: Life is a beautiful gift. So please, be grateful and live every precious day like you MEAN IT!

It’s Comin’ on Christmas…

17 Dec 2013 Leave a comment

by Laura in My Journey Through Cancer Tags: , , , , , ,

All the presents are wrapped, waiting to be packed in boxes and sent south to NJ. They’re leaving ahead of me, since I’m traveling by train. I’ve grown to love “The Vermonter.” Just me and a book, snug in my seat, rocking peacefully for a few hours as the towns glide by outside. It feels romantic and nostalgic, too, as if I’ve stepped inside the world of a vintage travel poster.

The end of my ride is Penn Station. Claire will be there to meet me crying, “Mama!” and greeting me with bright eyes and her wonderful smile as we rush towards each other. We’ll take a cab to her place; Bailey the cat will cry with longing when the key jiggles the lock. He’ll see it’s both of his girls and lap up all the love and cooing we bestow upon him. It’ll feel so good to be there.

There. Not here in this apartment of mine, where I’ve spent most of this year, sick, then mending and eventually longing for the day when the scenery around me would change. This year took me on a different kind of journey, filled with new and often frightening territory, although I soon realized I didn’t have time to be scared. I had cancer and I needed to prepare for battle, body, mind and spirit. The cancer journey isn’t for the faint of heart, this I know is true. But there are silver linings, both small and momentous and the word grateful has never crossed my mind as many times as it did this year.

My strength is coming back and my hair is growing in. The fight is finally over. It’s fitting that it’s year’s end, since I’m eager for the next chapter, my re-entry into the world. I’m a wee bit shaky and my emotions still trip me up, but I know I’ll be OK. I just need to remind myself, I’m a survivor.